Duties of the Heart
Syndicate
Hashem is He but not because of gender - comprehending our purpose
lvracha.Com/2012/01/25/emunah-free-will-middos-and-peace.aspx
From Rabbi Rietti's series on Derech Hashem, tape the Purpose of Man 2654-32-L-1703
Emunah, Free Will, Middos and Peace
The gift of free will is real and we are given behira (the ability to choose) so that we can earn the greatest pleasure there is, a joy resulting from our free willed choice to improve our middos through the Divinely tailored challenges - we are permitted to have control over our eternal destiny.
Putting Gd in the center does not mean becoming a boring puppet suppressing our natural selves while pretending to be someone we are not, nor does it mean having our personalities beaten down into a melting pot of similarity, getting brainwashed to be a clone, everyone coming to look and be like everyone else. Putting Gd in the center means comprehending that breaking our nature and natural bad character traits is the path the Designer paved for us to be able to rise to a level of holiness, the greatest privilege and opportunity that every unique soul can hope for in this world to improve its uniqueness. No one ever has the exact same mission as another;
The process of rectifying middos by seeing our unique selves at all times through Gd’s eyes and choosing to love, fear and emulate Him Who is the simple unity of the world helps us accomplish our positive mission in multi-dimensions and creates shelaimos (peace).
Awareness - Notes from an essay by the Slonimer Rebbe
Does the sense that we are living more and more in the dark with less successful strategies at our fingertips strike home?
It does to me.
Based on learning Chapter 4 entitled Awareness of the Slonimer Rebbe and on the teachings of Rabbi Aryeh Nivin (www.newchabura.com – new classes starting Feb 6, 2012) I am imagining two cities:
City one everyone has equal standing within the society. There are certain rules, such as pay your taxes, keep the laws, eat healthy, and do good and the mayor will send bodyguards to protect your home and person/family. These guards, though, answer to the mayor, and not directly to you. How safe do you feel? Do you feel that your fate is controllable 100%? For me, I feel that much could come to play where I might not rank as high in being protected as others who might have more influence and power. I feel a need to pursue an agenda for myself and family.
City two, everyone is born with the free will and ability to choose to have the same status in the eyes of the mayor – no one has more inherent influence or power than anyone else. The mayor asks only one thing, only one main rule, which is that at all times, we remember that there is a mayor and that the mayor is our Designer, as well as the Designer of everything we see, feel, and experience. When we remember this, we ourselves become part of the Designer’s Mind, Who Himself, through the vessel that we become, stands and protects us, our homes, our families, our lives and our property. How safe do you feel? Do you feel that your fate is controllable 100%? For me, I feel that if I could actually do this 100% of the time, then my fate is controllable, but I recognize that I probably do not know how to maintain this attachment enough. That scares me! And THAT is a healthy fear of sin.
Healthy fear of Hashem is knowing that the greatest pleasure possible is to be in rapport with Him – the Designer, the Force behind everything, the All Powerful, All Knowing Gd at all times. The beauty of city 2 is that just sincerely yearning for it, for being attached to Hashem at all times, and regretting when we fail is the process, a process that He allows imperfections within, and continues to give protection.
Being aware of Gd is the foundation of everything. We have a soul from a heavenly reality and that is the context of our life. Why get caught in gashmius and ego, where material things or our desiring emotions become central? We can only have one priority in life, not 2. Attach to Hashem and seek knowledge of Hashem.
The Yetzer Hara will do anything, including making a person a solid citizen, an ethical and upright person, even a learned person, to keep a person from fulfilling this ultimate purpose – attaching consciousness totally to the reality that everything is a manifestation of Hashem.
The goal of life IS this awareness, it is the highest priority, otherwise we are in darkness. Not possible to have any other priority other than this as a pathway to achieving the ultimate purpose for which Gd created the world.
The 6 constant mitzvahs and ein od milvado consciousness are the major effort, the major priority to strive to bring into our hearts. When we work on Gd awareness, the ego nullifies itself – that is how you do tikkun hamiddos.
The foundation of the Baal Shem Tov’s Torah is that Gd is one. “I” does not let us put Hashem in the center because “I” takes away our existence – the “I” wants to be the center. This is the root of all bad middos, a negative qualities. It is mistake to think Gd is in my world. I am in Gd’s world. Go to ein od milvado, not to the El Zar, the strange gd within.
Malchus means to make ourselves the ultimate vessels, not to exist for our own agendas. If we can let Hashem in so much that the “me” leaves, we can achieve being an absolute extension of Almighty’s will itself. We can go to naase v’nisma and become the best bride for the groom.
The Kotzker Rebbe asks: Why was Torah given on a mountain and not a valley? The answer is that to be a Jew you do have to have a little bit of ego. But we are supposed to cease to exist within your personality. Instead, when we make His Will our will, He makes His Will ours. The more we observe His Will, do His commandments, and emulate His Attributes, the more protection we receive.
Thus it makes logical sense to channel all inclinations to Hashem. Don’t have inclinations that interfere with the idea that you and Hashem are One. When we properly bittel ourselves we become an appendage of Hashem. Then, we in our consciousness can become One with Hashem.
Our soul is love, while the body experiences fear – but we can feel both at the same time. When a person leaves dimensional reality of time and space and goes higher, that is rises above our limitations, we can experience an infinite pleasure beyond the pleasures within time and space. It is paradise because we touch Perfection.
So if we feel we are in the dark, it is probably because we are. But we have the tools and a pathway to bring light to the darkness. It is a matter of free willed choice to seek attachment to Hashem and knowledge of Gd.
Conscience and Gd-consciousness
Rabbi Kessen shared in a Tisha B’Av shiur that at the time that Adom sinned and was thrown out of the Garden of Eden, Hashem cut the spiritual flow of life force to the nachash, the snake, and attached it to the spiritual flow of life force that is instinctive to man. Hashem did this in such a way that the forces of good and evil would be competing for the energy of man. When mankind chooses to do what is good, the energy to the Satan is diminished and when mankind chooses to do evil, the strength of the Satan is increased.
Through our choices we direct spiritual energy.
Hitler hamach shemo wanted to remove the Jewish people from the world because the Jewish people blemished the body with circumcision and blemished the will of man by inflicting conscience upon the world. His thought was that without the Jews, there would no longer be a conscience, a moral objection, to doing whatever people desire. Gd forbid!
Recently there was a terrible crime committed against a girl, a 19 year old Jewish woman who utilized a popular social networking site and text messaging. A man found her and took her, drugged her, took her money out of her account, used her for sexual activity and would have sold her as a sex slave had not Hashem intervened to allow the police to find her. She is now psychotic.
The police are unable to charge the man with a crime. Because the girl is over 18, he can say the sex was consentual and that she took the drugs voluntarily. He walks away, having taken her money, raping her, selling her to others, and destroying her brain, with no sense of conscience and absolutely no reason to not do it again. Surely this an example of the world that Hitler hamach shemo had hoped for. Without conscience, there is sociopathy. Why?
An animal is born with instincts but there is no maturation process nor need for them to learn ethical choices of right from wrong. A human is not constructed so. Built into our instincts is the attachment of the Satan, the evil inclination. Without creating for ourselves a way to rise above what is natural, we have no chance of behaving in a manner that is instinctively decent. This is why Hashem gave us free will and choice and the opportunity to have a personal relationship with Hashem.
When we recognize the choice between good and evil and we want to do good, and we ask Hashem to give us strength to do good, Hashem helps us and we are able to rise above the built-in negative downward pulls. Without comprehending that we are CHOOSERS and that we have free will to do so but need Hashem at every step of the way, we Gd-forbid fulfill the dream of a sociopathic society. Mankind is not able to legislate morality anywhere near to the extent that free willed choice can implement it.
We exist in a world that appears to be cause and effect. When we teach people to obey based on our emotional responses or laws rather than on actual ethical value of right and wrong, we create reinforcements for relying on cause and effect based on emotional reactions and people pressures. Such conduct adds a layer of concealment to hester panim. Our own anger assaults the consciousness of others, lowering them into their natural reactions where the Satan reigns supreme. While we and they have free will, we don't always rise to the challenge.
How do we rise to the challenge? When we reach to remember at all times the simple unity of Hashem and that there is no other force or power in the world, and we include in our awareness that we are contained within His Mind and want (and need) rapport with Him at every moment, cause and effect no longer seem as rigid and controlling. We begin to see differentiations within our days that begin to show us how miraculous all of life and nature really are – everything is miraculous but when we notice it, we see differentiations that reveal the will of Hashem and His hand.
Shall we build or weaken within the world Hashem’s light? When we use the Divine gift of free will to have rapport with Hashem, we counteract the darkness in which a man can disregard the respect and life of a 19 year old girl for his own gain. When we relent and throw up our hands, or worse, if we admire and learn to manipulate in the same way the blind spots inherent in human ability to legally prove a crime, we sign away any chance of joy in life, trading it in for the bottomless pit of taking and fulfilling appetite after appetite in a manner less befitting than any animal life on this planet.
The easiest thing to get rid of is darkness. A small match can light an entire room. But we have to choose to strike the match. It isn't enough to accept the darkness and make the best of it, for we are here to bring light.
Where in our lives are we taking from others in a manner that is either out of sync with the morality and intent of Torah or designed to ease the Torah prohibition so that we can do what we emotionally want? Let’s find a repair, a way to move onto the path of bringing into this world the ethical value we might in the past have violated. Even if we cannot undo what we have done, we can still shine light now. And every match we light can dispel so much darkness.
Please pray that this poor girl regain her mental capacity and sanity and be able to recover. Please pray that our legal system not be content with allowing a predator like this to operate with impunity. Please pray that the ethics that Hashem has given to us are the source of our choices rather than the angry emotions of people with agendas to inflict upon us their beliefs and politics. Please remember that every one of us is part of the same soul and that we each have a light to shine that puts mankind back together.
Each one of us is a delegate from the Divine mind. Are we going to call Home to remember to do our mission, what we were delegated to do, despite the obstacles? The obstacles are the test, the opportunity to choose to rise above the natural reaction dominated by the Satan. Dial 1-800-ALMIGHTY – ask Him what He wants you to do, and then ask Him to give you the strength to do it – and then push to do it.
By the way, you may want to read up ahead of time on what He expects…613 mitzvahs of the Torah, 365 do not do’s and 248 things to do.
Most of us have trouble with the do not do’s. We have had this trouble since Adom ate the apple, so one “DON’T” turned into 365 don’ts. But the inherent ability to do Hashem’s will by following the “do not do’s” is still our choice and within our reach, with Hashem’s help. There is no other Power, not our emotions, not others emotions, not our weapons, not our money. Conquering the world does not bring joy or eternity.
Each one of us has within us resistance to listening to the do’s and don’t do’s. That is natural. But running free does not bring the happiness we think it will. It makes us prisoners in a society that cannot prove where a sociopath broke decency and destroyed sanctity. The joy of doing as we wish pales in comparison to the delight and out of this world pleasure we experience from a relationship with Hashem that we can slowly and surely build, that can last for all eternity.
Parshas Shemos - Straw, Esav, Strength, the Simple Unity of Hashem and Geulah - a Spiritual Pathway
Who can forget 9/11?
Rabbi Frand gave a shiur on that terrible tragedy where he explained the golus of Edom, specifically that we are in the Ishmael portion of this long golus of Edom. Edom is equivalent to Esav.
Ten years later, I continue to try to comprehend what the Ishmael portion of the golus of Esav means.
Today we read Parshas Shemos. It is the story of the journey of the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt thousands of years ago. It is the story that we will read on Passover, that we read every year. But it is not just a tale. It is a description of the spiritual steps that had to take place to bring the Jews from the 49th level of defilement to Mount Sinai, the 50th level of spiritual height.
Toward the end of the Parshas Shemos, the word “straw” comes into the story. Ovadia tells us the symbolism of straw:
"And the House of Yaakov shall be an ember,
and the House of Yoseph a flame,
And the House of Esav straw,
And they shall kindle in them,
and devour them;
And there shall not be any remaining of the House of Esav".
[Ovadiah 1:18]
"An ember without a flame does not reach far. So it was that when Yoseph was born, Yaakov felt certain that G-d was with him".
[Rashi, citing a Midrash]
Let’s look for a moment at where this word “straw” appears and its context.
Parshas Shemos 5:5 through 9 :
Pharaoh said, “See! The peasants have become numerous. Now you want to make them take a vacation from their task.” On that day, Pharaoh gave instructions to the administrators who were over the people and their foremen, saying, “Do not continue to give the people straw to form the bricks as before. Let them go and gather their own straw. But maintain their quota of bricks, just as before. Do not reduce it. They are lazy, and therefore protest ‘Let us go and sacrifice to our Gd.” Make the work heavier for the men, and make sure they do it. They will then stop paying attention to false words.”
The Me’am Loez explains Pharaoh’s statement about the straw:
“The mud bricks that they make require straw to hold them together and prevent them from cracking. Until now, I have given each group a fixed measure of straw, and have expected them to produce an appropriate number of bricks. Now I am going to stop giving them straw, but make sure that they maintain the same quota of bricks.”
Shemos 5:10
The Administrators and foremen in charge of the people went out and said to the people, “This is what Pharaoh has said: ‘I am no longer giving you straw. You must go and procure your own straw wherever you can find it. However, you may not reduce the amount of work you are doing. The people spread out all over the land of Egypt to gather stubble for straw.”
The Me’Am Loez explains:
“The people had to send work forces to the farthest reaches of Egypt to find straw. Just as Pharaoh had told his administrators not to supply the Israelites with straw, so had he posted declarations that no Egyptian should allow the Israelites to gather straw in his field The Israelites therefore had to travel long distances to the uninhabited border regions, where straw grasses grew wild. The Israelites went deep into the wilderness where the tall wild grasses grew. Their bare feet were torn by the sharp stubble, and they bled profusely.”
Hashem explains why He did this to Moshe:
Me’Am Loez says regarding 6:1:
“The darkest part of the night comes just before the beginning of the dawn. A sick person’s symptoms become much worse just before he begins to recover. The coldest days of winter come just before the” spring. Before any change takes place, the two forces are in strong opposition, and the adverse effects might seem all the harsher. But in the end, the improvement indeed takes place.”
Rabbi Rietti has a 34 CD class on Derech Hashem. Here are some notes from a section on Divine Providence of the World:
“Maimonedes explains that all the elements within creation have their own mind. There is a conscience, there is a part of every physical element that recognizes Gd as its creation…it is so obvious to it that it is impossible to do anything else but Gd’s dictation. A human is the only being who can deny Gd’s existence, with an apparent cause and effect, a cover up of Who is the cause. Animals have a program that is instinctively survival, no free will of good versus evil.
Maimonedes in Perek Gimel Halacha 9 in Law of fundamentals of Judaism:
All the constellations …are all masters of soul, they have a seichel and a mind. They recognize the higher world, Who spoke and made the world. The concept is that Gd speaks and the world exists. This alludes to the power of the Hebrew alphabet. Each element according to its own greatness, its elevation, extol Hashem, like the angels. “
…the elements… all have a mind of their own but they have no choice but to respond to Gd’s will and with that to praise Gd constantly. Just like they recognize Gd’s existence, and they are aware of their own existence, of the angel’s existence …
… the entire physical existence is aware of Gd. Only man is accountable for choosing right and wrong.. Every element in creation knows that Gd created them. Isaiah says “every animal knows its master except the human being.” The human can deny or acknowledge him. Talmud in Brachos says – “In all your ways acknowledge Gd’s existence”. Says Isaiah in Chapter 1 verse 3: The ox knows its master and the donkey knows its trough that its master gave, but the Jewish people don’t know, they don’t think about it. WE are supposed to bring Gd into the world.
Remember that straw is a moshul for Esav. It is only after the birth of Esav's nemesis Yoseph, that Yaakov is ready to confront to confront Esav. Does the image of straw, as the symbolic representation of Esav, as the glue of the bricks take on a different dimension? The Jews, the descendants of Yaakov [the ember] had to gather their own straw – where will the glue come from to form strong bricks? The Jews had to go to the wilderness, bloody their feet, their lives were made bitter by Hashem’s sending Moshe to Pharaoh to demand that the Jews come serve Hashem for three days.
It was very dark and the Jews were not productive in building bricks, searching and searching for straw. The image that comes to mind is that straw, as a metaphor for Esav- whose blessing was to live by the sword – (To Esav, Yitzchak says, 'You will live by your sword [Bereshit/Genesis
27:40]. )
The Jews were told to find their own straw – could it be that the Jews were being asked to introspect on where we were living by the sword? Dathan and Abiram complained to Moshe that he brought this terrible suffering upon the Jews. They saw Moshe as the source for the suffering, but spiritually, we were sent by Hashem on a search for “straw” right before we were being told that we would be taken out to serve Hashem.
Where are we, today, able to see the usefulness of this spiritual pathway? Where are we glued to unhealthy conduct and laziness, where do we seek to move ourselves from slavery to service of Hashem?
We have within us a natural glue – STRAW – our subsconscious negative tendencies to survive with the sword, to blame secondary causes rather than see the Primary cause of everything! When we rescue our consciousness from clinging to these negative primal instinctive hurtful solutions based on forgetting the Primary Source of everything, we have a chance to use that consciousness for its ultimate purpose, to see the simple unity of Hashem and use that wisdom for the service of Gd. This was the path of our redemption from Egypt thousands of years ago.
How much more so is it today, when the suffering inflicted by Ishmael – through the emotional turns and twists with which normalcy is abused, that cause the world to question more and more who is representing Hashem to the point where we, Gd forbid, fall victim to the emotional confusion ourselves – befuddle our mind so that we are not on a level in our mind as a simple inanimate rock that praises Hashem and knows it Creator! Instead, we are caught in the straw – seeking to club darkness with emotion and power rather than to transcend with shining the light of the Primary Source of all.
The goal of awakening ourselves to how ridiculous our emotional confusion on this point is and how it triggers a clinging to the sword should awaken us out of the stupor of our emotional confusion because we have seichel. How do we get out of the Ishmael phase of the golus of Esav? Just see it and realize that the entire geshtalt of living in our emotions is what we are here to transcend. We have the natural resource, the glue to do it – a beautiful consciousness that comes from the Primary Source of all. We just need the seichel to ask for the strength to rise above our emotional makeup and then choose to use our free willed choice and serve the simple unity of Gd!
Hence, once again, below is a recommended toolbox:
Updated January 12, 2012 Aseres B’Teves
Daily Hisbodidus
Thank you Hashem for the flow of thought, emotion, and consciousness to this otherwise inanimate body that houses it, may Your name be praised, and for the ability to perceive, experience and learn, for the gift of free willed choice, and for the capacity to discern and integrate. Please flow through me unlimited will power to direct the recipe of personality, circumstance and emotional flow You send through my heart each day so that through the use of conscious choice which You bestow upon me, I can release the innate natural gift of strong subconscious deep emotional bonding from imperfection (unreality, basic human nature) to perfection (reality of the Divine mind, connection to Divine attributes), with the desiring result being that all of my emotions are directed first to loving and fearing and emulating You,. May Your Will and Attributes as expressed in Torah be fully conscious within me and grant me success in bringing Your Attributes and Will to visibility in my actions, my relationships, my thoughts, and my emotions. May I be strengthened with unlimited conscious free will to approach my day from loving awareness of choosing what is pleasing to You
Occupy Our Emotions Process
"I recognize that I am emotionally bonded to this pattern/thought/experience/programming/ nature and I see that it is unpleasant. Hashem please grant success to the choice I declare to shift my emotional bonding from imperfection to love and fear of You. Please see my determination and give me the will power, to the very depths of this emotion, and help me to match the emotion with will power to calm my subconscious clinging to this self-destructive connection. (I am awaiting the will power), I sincerely want to no longer be emotionally bonded with this thought/experience/memory. [once the emotion is calm and the feeling of will power there, say:]
“Hashem I choose that the consciousness that is bonding the emotions You send through me shift (Please shift consciousness given by You which is subconsciously keeping those emotions above my behira and out of my ability to control). Right now this consciousness is emotionally bonding me to a pattern/thought/experience/programming/ nature that is unpleasant. I recognize that this piece of consciousness and emotional bonding have been above my behira and You have shepherded me and guided me to take accountability for my actions( through suffering consequences of the emotional pain of separation of consciousness from You). Please give direction of this orphaned consciousness into my hand. I beseech You to listen to my free willed choice. I direct this consciousness and emotional bonding affecting my actions to detach from pattern/thought/experience/programming/ nature and re-attach to love and fear and emulation of Hashem alone. Please lead me in the path that I wish to go, for the unification and sanctification of Your name, for now I realize that this has been sent for me to responsibly bring the consciousness You give me back into harmony with Your Will. That is my sincere choice and desire, for there is nothing but Your simple unity in all the world. Please grant success to my free willed choice to direct this consciousness and emotional bonding to love and fear and emulating Hashem and please destroy all negative spiritual entities which I may have created by misuse in the past of this consciousness and emotion. I regret it and ask that this negativity be taken out of the world and that my teshuva be a zechus and benefit for all Klal Yisrael.”
Choices and Watchfulness - and updated toolbox
“One who walks this world without considering whether his way of life is good or bad is like a blind man walking along the seashore, who is in very great danger, and whose chances of being lost are far greater than those of his being saved. For there is no difference between natural blindness and self-inflicted blindness, the shutting of one’s eyes as an act of will and desire…the running on the impetus of their habits and their ways without leaving themselves time to evaluate their actions and ways, and, as a result, falling into evil without noticing it. ..this is one of the clever devices of the evil inclination – to mount pressure unrelentingly against the hearts of men so as to leave them no leisure to consider and observe the type of life they are leading. For it realizes that if they were to devote even a slight degree of attention to their ways, there is no question but that they would immediately begin to repent of their deeds and that regret would wax in them until they would leave off sinning altogether…the evil inclination…is a warrior and well versed in deception. One cannot escape it without great wisdom and a broad outlook…If a man looks to himself the Holy One Blessed be He helps him, and he is saved from the evil inclination. But if he gives no heed to himself, Hashem will certainly not superintend him; for if he does not pity himself, who should pity him? “If I am not for myself [for my soul spiritually] who will be for me?”
The second step is to approach the matter of watchfulness. Rebbetzin Heller in day 135 of Duties of the Heart teaches us (paraphrased below) more of the details of being watchful in the choices we make and why:
“Choices change us. Good choices change how others see us and indirectly based on how others treat us how we see ourselves, for the better. But what about when we make bad choices (and these can be subtly bad choices).
There is a heavenly scribe that writes down all the inner emotions that might generate conflict within us that are practiced in our inner life. Once the scribes have written in the book, it brings other things into the picture. Like moods. The moods relate to our inner climate.
If I think “Life is good because I can make choices,” my moods are going to different from if I think “Life has no meaning unless I have pleasure.”
We CAN change some of our moods – those moods that result from the message that has been inscribed by previous [bad] choices can sound so credible that [ Gd-forbid] the [previous choices and subsequent related moods]can’t be erased. Learn we CAN question what was inscribed already and ask “Is this what I want my narrative to be forever, is this what I want to decide my mood, shall I let this bring me to anxiety? What do I really want?”
Step 3 is to keep a cheshbon hanefesh, to daily speak to Hashem and ask Him to help lift us above our natural reactions and to help us move from emotional reaction to conscious choice to serve Hashem [and thereby receive the greatest pleasure, the purpose of our existence].
Below is the updated toolbox that I use:
“Hashem I choose that the consciousness that is bonding the emotions You send through me shift (Please shift consciousness given by You which is subconsciously keeping those emotions above my behira and out of my ability to control). Right now this consciousness is emotionally bonding me to a pattern/thought/experience/programming/ nature that is unpleasant. I recognize that this piece of consciousness and emotional bonding have been above my behira and You have shepherded me and guided me to take accountability for my actions( through suffering consequences of the emotional pain of separation of consciousness from You). Please give direction of this orphaned consciousness into my hand. I beseech You to listen to my free willed choice.
I direct this consciousness and emotional bonding affecting my actions to detach from pattern/thought/experience/programming/ nature and re-attach to love and fear and emulation of Hashem alone. Please lead me in the path that I wish to go, for the unification and sanctification of Your name, for now I realize that this has been sent for me to responsibly bring the consciousness You give me back into harmony with Your Will. That is my sincere choice and desire, for there is nothing but Your simple unity in all the world. Please grant success to my free willed choice to direct this consciousness and emotional bonding to love and fear and emulating Hashem and please destroy all negative spiritual entities which I may have created by misuse in the past of this consciousness and emotion. I regret it and ask that this negativity be taken out of the world and that my teshuva be a zechus and benefit for all Klal Yisrael.”
Free Will - Every choice imprints itself upon our soul
Free will, which is a Divine gift and creation, can become, and is intended to become, the home for our consciousness, the basis of our self-esteem and the proving ground for our eternity. We are our choices in a more permanent way than we realize.
Rebbetzin Heller in her series Duties of the Heart Day 134 teaches us:
“Every choice we make leaves an impression upon ourselves. We become the person we choose. Every time we listen to the internal voice, what is the truth of what we are hearing, what is it for, we are free. But when we listen to the instinctive nature within us that tells us ,”It is okay, it is just now, do what you want,” every time we become more like the beast within us, when we give into emotion and break all barriers [to actualize it] we strengthen that.
We are writing our own books …You become who you are through the small choices we make all along.
There are twos scribes, one who records good deeds, both those we do internally or those portrayed by our actions, seen externally. The other scribe is, of course, going to be recording the side who is base.
We can recognize what happens when we make a positive choice. You change yourself openly meaning that people will see that new person and you will be translated to the world differently, and you will be different internally.
Be affirmed and validated by your choices to become the person you want to be.”
Because free will is real, we might take the Divine gift of choice and believe that we can use it to bring out what is in our hearts, as Rebbetzin Heller explains above “when we listen to the instinctive nature within us that tells us ,”It is okay, it is just now, do what you want,” every time we become more like the beast within us, when we give into emotion and break all barriers [to actualize it] we strengthen that” . Why is this problematic for Jewish people? Surely human history shows that intelligent people who master the ability to bring their ideas into actuality are heralded for their accomplishments. And students of history, especially in today’s world of media, find successful accomplishments and use these to model how to reach their goals. This reflects intellect. What is the issue?
Rabbi Shlom Leib Brevda [may he have a refuah shelama] tells how his father taught him emunah and why. Rabb Brevda shares that when he was a little boy, his father would tell him Torah stories while he sat on his father’s lap. He taught Rabbi Brevda to say shema in the morning and at night. One day, on a street in their neighborhood, where everyone went to work so no one was home during the day, a thief tried to enter through a window in one of the basement apartments. A man who never goes down that street just happened to and saw the break in occurring and called the authorities and B’’H the home was protected from loss. Everyone was talking about it. But Rabbi Brevda’s father whispered in his ear, “Do you know why that thief was caught? Because the little boy who lives there said Shema in the morning, and that protected it!” Rabbi Brevda grew up with this emunah. He says when we went to kindergarten and the teacher told the stories of Nebuchadnezzer HaRasha, and Haman HaRasha and Pharaoh HaRasha, he thought there were two opinions, his father’s opinion that Hashem runs the world and the kindergarten teacher’s opinion that the rashas rule the world. Rabbi Brevda shared all of this to explain the truth, the basic spirituality of being obligated to 613 mitzvahs instead of being obligated to 7 mitzvahs. Rabbi Brevda says that we are not judged by Hashem and treated according to nature alone. He says that we are individually maintained according to our involvement with Torah, mitzvahs and emunah. The more involved we are, the more protection. The less involved, the less protection.
Rabbi Rietti in his shiurim on Derech Hashem shares the same information. The involvement that Hashem has with us in this regard is NOT reward and punishment. It is, as we see in the Shema, a literal description of His involvement in our lives, the role that Torah and mitzvahs provide in our ability to connect to His protection. Reward and punishment are not the issue. Simple sustenance is, in the same manner as an employee has a salary and reimbursement for expenses to get the job done.
What is the job, the purpose of man?
The Mesillas Yesharim tells us in Chapter 1 Concerning Man’s Duty in this World:
“Man was created fr the sole purpose of rejoicing in Gd and deriving pleasure from the splendor of His Presence; for this is true joy and the greatest pleasure that can be found…the path to the object of our desires is this world…”This world is like a corridor to the World to Come. The means which lead a man to this goal are the mitzvahs and the place of performance of the mitzvas is this world alone….He has put man in a place where the factors which draw him further from Hashem are many. These are the earthy desires which, if he is pulled after them, cause him to be crawn further from and to depart from the true good…man is veritably placed in the midst of a raging battle…for all the affairs of the world, whether for the good or for the bad, are trials to a man…If he is valorous, and victorious on all sides, he….will succeed in uniting himself with his Creator, and he will eave the corridor to enter into the Palace, to glow in the light of life. to the extent that he has subdued his evil inclination and his desires, and withdrawn from those factors which draw him further from the good, and exerted himself to become united with it, to that extent will he attain it and rejoice in it….the world was created for man’s use…man is the center of a great balance. ..if he is pulled after the world and is drawn further from his Creator, he is damaged, and he damages the world with him. And if he rules over himself and unites himself with his Creator, and uses the world only to aid him in the service of his Creator, he is uplifted and the world itself is uplifted with him…if man had been created solely for the sake of this world, he would have had no need of being inspired with a soul so precious and exalted as to be greater than the angels themselves…for a man enters this world…to achieve this closeness by rescuing his soul from all the deterrents to it and from all that detracts from it”
We use our free choice to rescue our souls. Every choice writes the book of who we are for eternity.
If you could ask Hashem and know that He would say yes to your request, would you ask Hashem for what you want or ask Hashem to help you be who He wants you to be? Which do you think will bring you more happiness, in this world and for eternity? Thus, it is worthwhile to house our consciousness, our self-esteem and our service of Hashem within every choice.
May the resulting light that we shine bring nachas ruach to Hashem and may we be zocheh to greet the Moshiach Tzidkeinu speedily.
Letting Go and Letting Gd - Yocheved and baby Moshe
In chapter 2, Moshe Rebbeinu is born to Yocheved and Amram. The Me'am Loez explains as follows:
"As soon as Moshe was placed in the Nile, the Egyptian occultists felt a change in the mystical matrix. The redeemer of Israel [whom they had forseen and warned Pharoah and which forseeing was the cause of the decree to throw all the males into the Nile] was in the water. Not bothering to analyze the phenomenon further, they immediately reported to Pharaoh "Israel's redeemer is gone. We no longer see signs of his power." With that, Pharaoh immediately gave orders to retract his decree that all infant boys be drowned...
One might wonder why Yocheved had Moses placed in the Nile, rather than leaving him in the house and trusting in Gd. Although Miriam stood and watched over the basket, the child would certainly have been safer at home.
Yocheved was willing to sacrifice the child's safety for the benefit of her people. She knew full well that the reason for pharaoh's decree to drown the Israelite infants was befause the redeemer of Israel had to be destroyed by water. She also realized that as asoon as her son was placed in the water, teh occultists would assume that he was dead. Furthermore, if thre was a Divine decree that her son die by watrer, by endangering him in the nile now, that decree would be annulled. "
When Batya, Pharaoh's daughter sought a wet nurse for Moshe, she accepted Yocheved, not knowing Yocheved was the mother. The Me'am Loez continues:
"Yocheved was thus able to take her own baby home and nuse him. This was her reward frmo Gd for disobeying Pharaoh's orders and allowing the newborn boys to live. As we have seen earlier, Yocheved was one of the midwives to whom Pharaoh had given orders that infant boys should be killed. Gd therefore rewarded her that on the same day that she placed her son in the river, he was restored to her. She was able to hold him in her arms and nurse him with nothing to fear [for the decree had been lifted]. She was even being paid for it by Pharaoh's own daughter. This is the kindness that Gd does with His saints."
"Yocheved nursed him for 24 months. During this time he matured much more rapidly than an ordinary child and by the time he was two he was like a mature young man."
What can we learn from Yocheved especially? Yocheved understood the spiritual reality of who Moshe was to become and of the spiritual forces that could affect him. Her behavior was completely aligned with following the spiritual realities, not following the natural pulls of a mother. She relied on Hashem and gave up Moshe to the Nile based on her emunah and understanding of the spiritual task at hand. The result was that Hashem looked after her natural pulls IN FULL! She got to take Moshe home and raise him for two years, nourishing him into the redeemer!
May the example of Yocheved be in our minds as we face our downward earthy pulls toward survival and communion and help us to shift our energy to align it with loving Hashem, fearing Hashem and emulating Hashem because all there is in our world and in all worlds is the simple unity of Hashem. May we be able to grow in our knowledge of this spiritual reality and rely upon it and discover the great simcha and joy of knowing that we are loved and never alone, but that we block this awareness by listening to the false messages of our earthy downward pulls.
Blind Spots
There are some questions that seem so impossible to answer. For example, how can I know what my blind spots are when they are blind spots?
Surely after Hashem finds circumstances to bring my limitations into focus and I may begin to apply behira (free willed choice, either successfully or with failure), I begin to get a glimpse of my blind spot. Hopefully, with devotion to correcting myself and help from Hashem, the blind spot becomes more visible and after repeated attempts to respond in a manner that is pleasing to Hashem, the matter is no longer a blind spot but incorporated within my consciousness.
Now what? Perhaps I see someone with the same blind spot. OR, perhaps someone sees one of my blind spots (someone who has already brought that matter into their consciousness.).
No one wants to be judged. Is the purpose of vision and comprehension so that we can chastise each other? Obviously not. So what is the natural tendency to compare and contrast good for?
Take the circumstance of a young child who does not wish to go to bed. After all, the siblings are up and having fun and the child feels left out and unfaired against. The child makes these arguments, that it isn’t fair, that the child feels badly. Yet the parent knows that the child is exhausted and needs more sleep than the older children. The value that the parent is operating on for the good of the child is a different, higher awareness of the needs of the child. The child cannot comprehend the awareness of the parent and complains and rebels.
Now what if all of the children join together to defend the right of the younger child to join them iin the activity and stay up late? The parent is faced with a whole group, and the group argument takes on a new strength, because there are more things to consider. Nevertheless, the parent stands firm, the youngest must go to bed and the others must cooperate as well and stop spiraling the younger one. Parents have that authority and the ability to lovingly and gently give motivation to all.
Transfer that scene to a society of adults, where some have sought a knowledge of Gd with more learning than others have sought. In this world, Hashem is hidden, there is no outward apparent authority enforcing what is truly good and real. Yet with pursuit of the knowledge of Gd, a person can inwardly find this authority and see that it is real, eternal, loving and the only power that there is.
Is it fair to say that one who pursues and begins to find knowledge of Gd by learning about loving Hashem, fearing Hashem and emulating Hashem is aware of certain concepts on a certain level (i.e that there is a spiritual authority administering reward and punishment, responding to us in relation to our level of emunah and observance of Torah and mitzvahs). more than they were before they began pursuing that knowledge?
I think back to before I began learning Duties of the Heart, Mesillas Yesharim, Tomer Devorah as well as Chumash and Baruch Hashem I see some growth in my understanding of my nature and how best I can fulfill my mission. What should my reaction be to the time I was blind to this? Surely it is not one of disdain or displeasure. Imagine if at the time I began this journey I could see into the future and think, hey I want to make myself into someone who will be someone who dislikes my roots! That would never have been much of a motivator.
It is for this reason that I am so grateful that Hashem opened my eyes and has allowed me moments of closeness with Him, that I can look back at who I was and appreciate the goodness inside of me and what drew me toward learning – the light of certain inspiring people and their love for all Jewish people, their concern for connection, their kindness and understanding and warmth. With what these wise and loving people knew, they did not turn their backs or their warmth away seeing how stuck I was in “the other side” but saw within me the good, what was pure and attached to Hashem, and THAT is what nurtures the curiosity and the ability to pursue a knowledge of Hashem. I believe that even if they knew for certain, with a guarantee, that I would never move an inch on the path of knowledge of Hashem, the character traits within these people would not have allowed them to treat me differently from the manner they did. It was who they chose to be.
Spiritual accomplishment is not a social grouping. It is development of a vertical relationship with Hashem to bring consciousness in harmony with His Will and the continued deeper choosing to come more and more along that infinite path. Yet the farther along the path, the closer and warmer we can be to every Jew! For in the spiritual reality, Hashem is close to every Jew, intimately, whether a person is aware or blind to that reality. And He loves every one of us, no matter what. His purpose is for us to open our eyes and find Him. As a person travels along the infinite path of seeking knowledge of Gd, love for our fellow Jew increases. One Jew’s survival can never be threatened by another Jew. One candle does not put out another. Together we shine light.
May our red flags wave at us when we feel negativity toward any Jew, for this is a signal that we may have taken a step toward the other side, the side that says there is more than just the simple unity of Hashem – there is no other force or power. Hashem is One. It is He who awaits our recognition of this simple but hard to comprehend reality. Let us start by considering that it could be true. No matter what level of observance, from secular to holy, we can bring into our views of each other a knowledge of Gd and His love for us – manifested by our very souls being within our bodies, our very brains being able to function, our very hearts continuing to beat. No matter where we are, we can attract and view each other with favorable sentiments that can strengthen our people. Warmth, understanding, curiosity, patience, and respect.
May we be zocheh to comprehend that wherever we are, and no matter who we align ourselves with, at all times seeking knowledge of the One who beats our heart can bring us upon an infinite path of joy and fulfillment far beyond any other path.
Hashem is 100% in control 100% of the Time - And He responds to us to the degree we behave with that knowledge!
Mesillas Yesharim The Trait of Holiness P. 335
“The deterrents to Holiness are a lack of true understanding and much association with people; for earthiness finds its counterpart and takes on new strength, and the soul remains trapped within it, unable to escape.
However, when one dissociates himself from them and remains alone, preparing himself for the reception of His Holiness, he is conducted along the path which he wishes to travel; and with the help that Gd gives him, his soul grows strong within him, overcomes his physical element, unites itself with the Holiness of the Blessed One and perfects itself in it.
From this level one proceeds to an even higher one, that of the Holy Spirit, his understanding coming to transcend the bonds of human nature. It is possible for one to reach such a high degree of communion with Gd as to be given the key to the revival of the dead, as it was given to Elijah and Elisha. It is this gift which reeals the strength of one’s union with the Blessed One, for since He is the source of life, the giver of alife to all living creatures….then one who is perfectly united with the Blessed One will be able to draw even life from Him.”
This concluding chapter regarding holiness may sound very high and far away to achieve but it is, in fact, the entire basis of what we are to be watchful for at every moment of every day, as the Ramchal shares in Chapter 3 Concerning the Divisions of Watchfulness, p35-37:
“One who wishes to watch over himself must take two things into consideration: First he must consider what constitutes the true good that person should choose and the true evil that he should flee from; and second, he must consider his actions, to discover whether they appertain to the category of good or to that of evil…Let him ‘feel’ his deeds. For examination of one’s deeds refers to an investigation of one’s deeds in general and a consideration of them to determine whether they might not include certain actions which should not be performed….”Feeling” implies the investigation even of the good actions themselves to determine whether they involve any leaning which is not good or any bad aspect which it is necessary to remove and to eradicate….he must feel his actions by subjecting them to a most exhaustive examination to determine their nature, so that he might remain free of any impurities.”
TODAY we can have a relationship with Hashem by recognizing that all there is in the entire creation is the simple unity of Hashem. He is 100% in control 100% of the time. Whatever it is that we are experiencing, it has one universal axiomatic common principle – to utilize our free willed choice and take action that demonstrates our love for Hashem and desire to bring His light into this world, in service to Him.
What gets in the way? Hashem created darkness to see if we love Him and have a desire to find Him that is more motivating than our earthy desires and motivations. We see it from the story of the bitter waters of Mara. After all of the miracles of the splitting of the Red Sea, after being taken out of Egypt, after the 10 makos, we asked Moshe, "Is Hashem really with us?" just because of the matter of the water. Hashem was interacting at every personal level with us as well as in the general sense of running the world and still, His Creation, Free Willed choice, blinded us t the extent that we allowed our consciousness to become trapped within the "other side", the side that gives us the appearance of independent existence, Had we been watchful and had we been integrating the experiences to seek and acquire true knowledge of Gd, we would have seen that Hashem had veiled Himself for us to walk closer to Him in some way. Literally, the action we could have taken could have looked something like "Moshe, what hisbodidus can we do today to tell Hashem that we are reaching up for Him to lift us out of this darkness once again?" and perhaps Moshe would have responded "Daven to Hashem to bring us to believe no matter what that there is nothing but the simple unity of Hashem, that we know that He is all there is and that we ask Him to please help us come closer in consciousness to Him and that we trust that by doing so, we have nothing to fear."
But we know that is not what happened. Instead, our emunah fell and Hashem, in keeping with the way He created the world, treats us according to our involvement with Torah and mitzvahs. He protects us and cares for us when we are lovingly serving Him and He sends reminders when we fall short. Thus what happened next was that Hashem "took us off His Divine shoulders" and, there in the desert, Amalek was permitted to attack us.
In today's modern world, we wander around in our cars, to the supermarkets, carpools, work, shopping and more - feeling bewildered and scared and asking ourselves "Where is Hashem, is He with us?" YES! It is impossible for Hashem to NOT be with us! The place of the world IS IN THE DIVINE MIND!. There is NOTHING that is not completely in the direct and powerful control of the Creator. Except for one thing. Our free willed choice to fear Him or not. And what keeps us from it? The Mesillas Yesharim tells us (see full quote above) - for earthiness finds its counterpart and takes on new strength, and the soul remains trapped within it, unable to escape.
Throughout the millenium Jews have survived because our strength has been the Torah that we learn, in our minds, that we take with us everywhere we go. Hashem protects us. But now, with the ease of associating with many groupings that today's technology makes possible, ARE WE REMEMBERING TO BE WATCHFUL AND TO BUILD AT ALL TIMES OUR FACILITY TO TURN TO HASHEM IN HISBODIDUS AND BRING OURSELVES FROM GASHIMUS TO RUCHNIUS, FROM THE OTHER SIDE TO ELOKUS, FROM SELF-ESTEEM DEFINED BY ME TO SELF-ESTEEM DEFINED BY THE ASPECT OF THE DIVINE WITHIN ME?
May we be able to bitul ourselves to be able to place on the altar with mesiras nefesh allegiance to concepts, groups or behaviors that might be affecting the earthy downward pulls within us and adding a layer of concealment to the already existing hester panim in the world that the Divine Creation of free will generates. Let us be exceedingly watchful to see and not fall victim to trying to club darkness out of existence. Rather, may Hashem help us to find within us that crucial behira point whereby recognizing that all there is within the world is the simple unity of Hashem and may we bring ourselves to clarity and believing that truth, and may we shift our sense of self-esteem from “me” (MY group, MY opinion, MY condemnations) to the aspect of the Divine within us (lovingkindness, forgiveness, forbearance, overlooking faults, casting sins into the sea, patience, resilience). May our actions that result from connection to Hashem and His attributes within us help us to be light to our people and to all the world.
